Dialogue 1: Missing things

Moderator:  This is the transcript of a dialogue between ‘Me’ and ‘I’.  It is not between “Me and I”…as in …not between the “Me” and “I” in Me, but just between a “Me” and an “I”…as in…as in…in-short just read it already.

NB: I also said a few things, so should it still be called a dialogue??

Me:     I hate to lose things

I:          Why? Did you lose something?

Me:     No, not that… it’s just that it’s so very annoying whenever something goes missing

I:          Yah! It’s so very annoying

Me:     Ehen na, it makes me feel foolish eh! That’s how I will just be looking around like a mumu…going up and down…and in circles too

I:          Its true o, that’s how the other day when I was looking for my car key, I was  just checking everywhere

Me:     I remember that day…is it not that day that you were keeping your face like a he-goat that was smelling piss?

I:          Don’t mind me joor…it’s very annoying na. You need to have seen where and where I was checking…I was looking inside the deep freezer, under my shoes, inside pot…I don’t know; I just kept on checking mumu places like that

Me:     It’s not only you o, was it not the other day when I was looking for that my Paul Smith, you know it na?…that my Paul Smith shoe?

I:          Ah! That your Paul Smith? …hmm, it wouldn’t have been funny o

Me:     Not at all o, do you know how much…

Moderator:  Uhm! Uhm! …back to topic please

Me:     Ehen, so that’s how I went about looking for it in the sink o, I started feeling foolish afterwards

I:          So where did you finally see it?

Me:     Ehmm! …it was in the kitchen sha!

Moderator: Mumu

Me:     Another one that annoys me is the kind of thought that goes through ones mind while searching

I:          How?

Me:     The thoughts na …everything becomes jumbled in a way, like I would be trying to remember where I went to, where I sat, what I did…kai! It’s just so annoying

I:          …Ehnn!, All those yeye thoughts. They would be making sense but they are all nonsense. It has even happened to me too. That’s how I was looking for my car key one day like that and I was trying to remember if I had brought                     it back with me when I had gone out earlier, when for starters, the car was outside….mtschew! Off-course, my brain didn’t tell me that it was the key I had to used to drive home

Me:     You can imagine that…mtschew!!

I:          But that one sef is small, the one that really annoys me most is when you are looking for something and it is right before your eyes and you couldn’t          see it…chai! That one use to pain me very well, like when I would have my car keys in my pocket or I would be spinning it with my finger in the key holder while I would be scattering everywhere looking for it

Me:     Ah! That one is bad too o. That’s how I was using the torch on my phone to search for the phone under the bed one day like that, when I noticed, I felt  like slapping myself.

I:          The thing just tire me walahi!!

Me:     I tells you, and the thing that someone would be looking for would just be  smiling at one corner, meanwhile someone would be suffering, searching…I cant remember the number of times I have misplaced my phone, if its my specs…that one is normal

I:          Me, it’s my car key o

Me:     I tire for the whole thing, whether it is old age, I don’t know. Ehen! Abeg  are we still going out.

I:          Off course na, but please, help me just check around for my car key first

Me:     Okay…wait, what is that thing in you breast pocket

I:          ……?????…..